emoness. /// 11:50 pm
I m getting over him. I have to. Otherwise i will become worse. I will have to drown myself in work if i have to. Everything has to do with my "Oedipus" complex. I hate my genes.
I need a new hobby. Something like running around like an idiot. Touch rugby? But then i would then have to stay up late at night and pay extra for touch rugby (cos of transportation) being stuck in the middle of nowhere in the "city" is stupid without subway is stupid. I wont take the bus, because no one is really willing to show me. And its really really retarded at times. And dirty. I will never look at SBS the same.
I m going back on the 4th. Which is near. I m supposed to be happy, but then i realise that the SATs are coming. Which makes me emo again.
I really dont know whether i am over him. I m over him right? I dont know. It didnt hit me as hard as it did last year. Which is good. I hope it would go off like it did before. Quickly.
Theres no school tomorrow. Cos of typhoon Winpha. "pha" makes it sound like a name straight out of Mr. Evanno's diary. If he has one. But then it would be written in french, so doesnt make sense.
I think that sometimes I should be less observant and be better in my studies. Its a curse. A very bad one. I m too sensitive to others. It got me really bad when i moved here. Maybe i never truely realised my true sensitivity because i was very very brutally blunt when i was in P1 and there were alot of familiar faces in S1 as there were 12 people from my old school whom i mostly know already. Now, its bad. I miss everyone.
RenewalI woke up this morning,
Finding myself without,
That steel chain,
That connected me with you
And made me feel hollowed throughout.
This love,
So demanding,
Wanting me to give,
And give,
And give my all
To a blank wall.
With each tug,
The chain reopens the wound
That I bound,
Thinking that I will be alright again.
I cant continue this. Its crappy. Maybe I will improve it later. Later.
