Sigh /// 7:18 pm
God is giving obstacles.
I need to recover.
I need to get my documents in order.
And my health checkup wthout the credit card paid for..
And to correct the Immigration department that I actually applied onshore.
OMG.
I want to just. Sit down. Watch the sun go down. And watch the world go by. And then slowly disappear.
Its unrealistic.
But its the happiest situation that I can think of.
Yesterday I thought it was over. I was so wrong.
This is the worst first day of school ever.
I should get drunk.
And that would be stupid. Really stupid.
So again, another thing that I set to do is dismissed. Just like my other failed projects.
Today I thought would be the first day of new beginnings. And a boulder is thrown my way.
I m getting very bad anxiety problems.
I need tranquilisers.
Sometimes I feel that I have depended on the wrong people too.
The one I trust didnt help any way at all.
Maybe I should just pray hard. Very hard.
And cry.
I hope tomorrow is a good day.
And I can once more forget about life. Me. And the future.
And by the looks of it, I think drugs would not be bad for me, but a prescription miracle drug now.
For now, the strength to smile is still here.
Laughter is no longer a sign of happiness, but a omen of obstacles to come.
Its true when they say "Laugh too much, Cry later."
Good luck everyone, who left for their unis.
Maybe you would not see me anymore. Maybe you will.
I just hope everything will go on smoothly from now on.
Smiling uses up more muscles now. Frowning is my natural state.
